Phone for the fish knives, Norman
As cook is a little unnerved;
You kiddies have crumpled the serviettes
And I must have things daintily served.
Are the requisites all in the toilet?
The frills round the cutlets can wait
Till the girl has replenished the cruets
And switched on the logs in the grate.
It's ever so close in the lounge dear,
But the vestibule's comfy for tea
And Howard is riding on horseback
So do come and take some with me
Now here is a fork for your pastries
And do use the couch for your feet;
I know that I wanted to ask you-
Is trifle sufficient for sweet?
Milk and then just as it comes dear?
I'm afraid the preserve's full of stones;
Beg pardon, I'm soiling the doileys
With afternoon tea-cakes and scones.
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Ah! The Best of Betjeman: Vol 1.
As it happens I have just waved goodbye to some good friends who popped in for tea, bringing with them a large box of freshly baked scones! I am feeling comfortably replete having stuffed a couple of them covered in lashings of butter, strawberry jam and whipped cream. I hope I can last out until dinner time.
The Italian version of a doily - a centrino - is acceptable, even prized, depending on the workmanship displayed in the crochet or lace. I suppose it must be that the Betjeman-despised doilies are cut from paper; there is a slight disdain for shelf-lining paper rather than crochet or lace-edged cloth being used in glass-fronted cupboards here.
My shelves are lined with shelf-paper so I suppose I am displaying the same crassness as placing paper doilies under cakes or sandwiches - which I wouldn't do because of where I come from and what is thought of it there.
The pitfalls are legion; pasta should be eaten from a flat plate not a soup plate, for instance; use the napkin on the table to your right, not your neighbour's to your left (that causes real confusion - I keep reserves handy when the English and the Italians are at the same table or silent struggles break out over ownership). The real silver (the stuff made of silver we were given on marriage) has no special implements for eating fish but, then, Italians are pretty clear about eating so provide multiples of forks and spoons with just the one knife sharp enough for, well, almost anything really (except pasta, of course; you mustn't cut your pasta with a knife).
I wondered what 'requisites' are.
I can't read this without hearing his voice in my head.
What a great man he was.
R.I.P.
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