Thursday 16 July 2009

New Labour and Their Impure Thoughts


Bill Smugs has been told that unless he obtains a certificate from Ed Balls that he is not a child molester he will be Exterminated. Kiki is to be rehomed in Australia in an environmentally friendly parrot centre, away from the corrupt company of Philip, Dinah, Lucy-Ann and Jack, who have been found guilty of treating a parrot as a friend. Anthropomorphism is a thought crime under empowering legislation brought in since 1997 and the New Dawn, recently triggered (or perhaps Triggered).

On Angels' bookshelves are the six Adventure stories - Island, Castle, Valley, Sea, Mountain, and Ship - all signed by Enid Blyton in Welwyn Stores for older siblings. Most with lovingly added-in illustrations (well, first editionyness doesn't have the same force on winter evenings). No, Angels never met her; too small, but others were taken off religiously, books in hand, to meet Miss Blyton.

We really must devise a suitable comeuppance for Labour.

6 comments:

lilith said...

We could leave him on the island and row back to shore....

lilith said...

Taking all the ginger beer with us, of course.

Elby the Beserk said...

We had those editions of the Adventure series. Not sure where they went, but they were all much loved and much read.

Suitable come-uppance. Hmmmm. Many. I shall indeed dwell. About a year ago, every morning when L checked the BBC News on the web, I would ask her

"Has Gordon Brown's head exploded yet, dear?"

and she, sadly, would answer

"Not yet, dear, not yet".

dearieme said...

I remember that I did read Enid Blyton but I remember nothing about the books. Richmal Crompton, on the other hand..oh, I remember William all right. So New Labour should be locked in a room with Violet Elizabeth Bott.

Nomad said...

I suppose one is no longer permitted to chase them round and round a tree until they turn to butter?

Altenatively, that wicked pirate chappie might have a spare hook or two which might come in useful?

Elby the Beserk said...

William came up in our household the other day as well, bringing instant recall of intense giggles reading of his exploits. I only need to think "Violet Elizabeth Bott" to invoke a huge smile.

God only knows how many ASBOs poor William would get. in our fair and equal society