Tuesday 18 May 2010

Deportment

Women with long, slender legs can cross them and uncross them at will and how they like.  There is a sound rule for the rest: 

cross your ankles and only your ankles and, even then, only if you cannot control yourself enough to sit with your feet uncrossed and gracefully placed on the floor - both of them, side by side or one slightly behind the other for an occasional shift in position. 

Women who are not wearing men's clothes should follow the rule and stop displaying fat thighs, in cheap tights, crossed above the knee.  And yes the cheapness of tight can be spotted from a distance, and through a television camera.

And sit up straight while speaking to others.  Or stand up; which has the great advantage of taking the attention off fat legs, except for the truly gross.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Couperin says that one should sit at the harpsichord with the left foot slighly in front of the right; the left leg straight ahead and the right foot (and knee) turned slightly towards the people listening. This was considered the most beautiful way to sit.
Lutes were considered unsuitable instruments for ladies to play because they involve leg-crossing (right foot over left knee, lute resing on right leg); virginals (hence the name) were more appropriate, as you can play sitting down looking normal.

lilith said...

Do you ever feel like King Canute?

hatfield girl said...

I've been given too much information about thighs recently, L. they're all over the telly, all over the streets, what's with the thighs in England? I do feel like Canute - nothing will turn them back. On my way out to the hairdresser a small HG remarked they'd been doing Mrs Brown's hair recently. I paused but then, Mrs B 's hair had been a credit to her from what I'd seen recently; I'm going to have my legs done when I get back to italy though.

hatfield girl said...

Couperin will be right, Anon., he always is; presumably you are expected to sit up straight too, none of that writhing and emoting over the keyboard that pianists indulge in.

On my way back from the hairdresser an ice cream van turning into Cartwright Gardens let out a burst of Rameau! I know this is an intellectually area, but Rameau? Very suitable for ice cream van chimes though, I must say.

malpas said...

I thibk this rule
(1)should only apply to women
( 2) doesn't really matter if you have good visible breasts ( again only in women).

Elby the Beserk said...

Were I a Miss, I could not but respond to this with a "Yes, Miss".

lilith said...

I suspect, unlike her hair, Mrs B does her own hemlines.

hatfield girl said...

Malpas's point 2 was met by Ms B. as well, L, as you illustrated some posts ago.

hatfield girl said...

The answer to Couperin, who clearly has this matter grasped best is: Maestro, Si, or whatever is the French equivalent, Elby.

I suspect Anon., would not take kindly to being addressed as Miss either.

The people who demanded what the Italians call contegno from me and the rest of us where addressed as 'Mother' (not to be confused with Mummy, though she had her moments too).

I must have been feeling too snippy when I wrote the post, but there was this Person - on the Politics Show - who was doing all the things complained of about BBC political coverage and doing thigh uncoverage at the same time!

Don't get me started on terms and modes of address and reference Elby.

Elby the Beserk said...

Oh go on, HG - it makes a change from politics :-)

At school, were you to be appointed a School Prefect, as I was, you were invited to Sunday dinner with the Head and his wife (Baroness Trumpington, still with us and a formidable woman of the old school, bless her).

I received a letter, in which I was addresses as follows

Dear Smith,
.....

To which I replied (this was before she was ennobled)

Dear Barker,
.....

Which resulted in a smart summons for a lesson in etiquette. It was the 60s of course, and we were all going to equal in the eyes of God, but dear Mrs. Barker was having none of it.