Thursday 21 May 2009

Promoveatur ut amoveatur

Conversation at dinner this evening alighted on Mr Brown. (There was comment on the UK getting a lower credit rating than Italy). It was agreed that the only way to free us from an incompetent was to promote him to a nominally prestigious position from which, being useless in reality, he couldn't do any more damage. (This is a reliably translated version into English of the Italian definition of the latin phrase, guaranteed by Mr HG, who knows all three languages like the back of).

First up were the IMF or the World Bank presidencies. Unfortunately Brown's been informally considered and rejected for them. A post in Europe? Nope, his power base, such as it is, rests in a non euro-using member state with secessionist tendencies; and there were giggles about Brown's comportment when in Brussels (or anywhere else for that matter).

Africa was mooted but it was agreed that Africa, at least sub-Saharan Africa, which is the part intended (as North Africa has historical and post-imperialist ties that render it wholly differently oriented), could be thought of as animal, vegetable, and mineral. Unfortunately Mr Brown cannot. He hasn't the slightest acquaintance with husbandry, agriculture, or mining, metallurgy and engineering.

A general problem is that Mr Brown is a generalist. No-one could think even of any language, European or African, other than English, that he commanded. If he can't manage French and German, let alone Russian or Italian, how much more likely is it that he is poor in, for instance, Bemba? You can't do anything when you can't understand what anyone else is saying. There was a significant silence while we considered Mr Brown's listening qualities.

What, then, are Mr Brown's abilities and qualifications, the interests closest to the brownian heart? What would he claim should be considered? First, economics and finance - failure is no disqualification for passionate interest. Second, globalisation - democracy is no deterrent to world progressive governance. Third, extension - power base is no limitation to multi-jurisdictional agenda and activity. Fourth, status - he likes his Chequers and his summits, and they aren't really very expensive. No problem.

The World Trade Organisation awaits him like a blushing bride. Certainly Pascal Lamy might take a view, but he is in his second term and should never have been in his first but that the Europeans were doing a spot of promo/amo themselves. Not only does the position fit Mr Brown like a glove, being M. Lamy does too. Well, he could lose a bit of weight.

Tomorrow we will consider what will move Pascal out of Gordon's way. This evening the unanimous view was that Gordon himself is probably the best bet.

12 comments:

dearieme said...

A suitable vacancy could arise on November the Fifth.

hatfield girl said...

Are we burning Benedict, Dearieme? Can a Unitarian be Pope (or do I mean Presbyterian, I get muddled).

Odin's Raven said...

He already thinks he's saved the world. He's greater than Jesus. Let him walk on water and feed the fishes. Loch Ness is deep and could accommodate another monster.

Nomad said...

Interesting idea, but I think the World Health Organisation would be better bet. He could then be used as the international symbol for disaster zones.

hatfield girl said...

Have to be world something, Nomad, so he can bestride the globe.

dearieme said...

I meant that we might replace Guy by Gordo. As for Unitarians and so on: think of these superstitions as occupying a spectrum. In the middle are Christians - Presbyterians, Anglicans, Lutherans and so on. On the left, let us say, are Christians-minus e.g. Unitarians, who lack belief in the Trinity. On the right are Christians-plus e.g. Roman Catholics, who add to Christianity an Infallible Pope, a Neolithic fertility goddess, and priests who can forgive you your sins.
Gordo is presumably an atheist but was raised as a Presbyterian.

hatfield girl said...

Unitarians sound a dull lot. Fancy rejecting the notion of the Trinity. The ultimate fantasy, imaginative extender of possibilities, the food for thought during near-endless rituals and perorations, the saviour of sanity and amusement.

Angels are not Unitarians.

That leaves Catholic (Roman and Other), Presbyterian (unlikely if it is the Faith into which Brown was inducted), Lutheran (no wonder we were heavily dosed against Luther, the most overtly political of all these political forms), and Anglicans (who have the music but no God).

It's a stand off between Anglican Catholics and Roman Catholics. Catholics are much the most interesting philosophically, once the step into their universe is taken, and they have a very fine political sfumatura as well. However they are dulled, particularly the Romans, by the Mary cult, which is political grubbing about for support from the wimmin particularly the earthmother wimmin.

Anglicans are Catholics yet don't need a God to entertain the faithful with Anglican belief. But they don't offer a lot instead of God to commit oneself to, despite the way to finding what is to be believed in being entrancing.

Still, Angels are pretty nebulous too, so Anglican Catholic seems the best politico-religious option.

Glad the Unitarian/Presbyterian distinction didn't impinge. They're all Protestants and a no-no.

Anonymous said...

You or your friends are wrong - Italy's credit rating of A+ is still well below that of the UK.

hatfield girl said...

'There was comment on the UK getting a lower credit rating than Italy'....

No statement on Italy's credit rating is offered. What is offered is the view that England's credit rating could well fall below Italy's.

Always best to be careful not just on understanding what is being read but about using such a personal tone, Anon. 12.29.

Certainly the teaching of English grammar has collapsed to the point where some are unaware that in English it is perfectly possibly to 'dare del lei', and English conversational exchange has degenerated to the point that the abusive use of 'you' is thought to be normal.

Anonymous said...

Language evolves I'm afraid, for example Madame is rather keen on using "us" and "we", when what she means is "me" and "I".

Anonymous said...

And "Dare del Lei" surely if you wish to nitpick?

hatfield girl said...

Nope. When used as assimilated English then Italian capitalisation rules will fall into abeyance, much on the same lines as latin plurals replaced by English plurals.

Certainly languages evolve but often ignorance rather than evolution is responsible for inadvertent over familiarity and thus aggression. Keeping out of interlocutor's verbal space should be available as an option. Being impolite by accident is a pity.