Monday, 25 January 2010

There's Only One Job to Get on With Gordon

"The car is at the door, Prime Minister."

"Oh, I'm able to squeeze in Davos after all?"

"No, Prime Minister.  You need to call a general election."

"But all my friends are at Davos; they'll need to hear my view."

"Prime Minister, you have to call a general election.  If you win, you can go to Davos next year."

"Then there's the Budget."

"Alastair will do the Budget, Prime Minister,  if you don't call a general election."

"No, no.  He's just holding the fort.  I'm putting Ed in after the summer.  I'll do the Budget; perhaps you're right, next year in Davos."

"You need to call a general election before all of that, Prime Minister.  The car is at the door.  Please take your fingers from your ears, Prime Minister.  You must go to the Palace."

"Shan't.  And I can hear you perfectly well; this is communicative body language that I learn in my special classes on interpersonal presentation with wossername's friend."

"If you will not get into the car and go to the Palace, what are you going to do today Prime Minister?"

"I'm getting on with the job of surging to bring closure in Afghanistan.  I have taken this upon myself, as I said in an earlier press announcement when I called The London Conference before anyone could stop me."

"The meeting on Friday is being handled by David; the Foreign Office is quite on top of  having talks with other NATO countries' defence people and with the European Union High Representative."

"The European Union what?"

"Cathy Ashton, Prime Minister.  You shoveled her into post in preference to the UK  (sorry British) taking an economic portfolio in the EU as you wanted to handle any economics portfolio issues arising in the EU yourself.  Part of your 'visionary' global leadership thingy."

"Well, I'm getting on with financial and bank regulation jobs."

"The Governor of the Bank of England is already on it, Prime Minister.  You need to call a general election."

"This is not the time for a general election.  I've only had a little go.  It's not fair."

"Time to see the Head of State of the British People, Prime Minister.  Get in the car" 


Nick Drew said...

I've only had a little go. It's not fair

say no more

Elby the Beserk said...

It seems rarely mentioned that Cabinet Ministers no longer make announcements that should issue from them as heads of their respective departments - instead, The Dear Leader now makes all such.

My older brother worked in Saudi and nearby countries for many years. I recall him saying the TV news was always about the royal family, or some scion thereof, arriving by plane somewhere, or leaving by plane from elsewhere, or making a pronunciation on this, that or the other.

Which is of course what we have no - Gordon Bloody Brown's horrible slot-gobbed face on the news every day, TV and newspaper.

I'm really a peace-loving old hippy, but if someone took this bastard out, or a bus ran over him with extreme prejudice, I'd whoop for joy

Roue le Jour said...

The conversation I day dream about takes place at the palace.
HM: "We're so pleased you have decided on the date of the general election, Mr. Brown."
GB: "But ma'am, I've done no such thing!"
HM: "Really? Because one quite clearly remembers dissolving Parliament."

hatfield girl said...

You are cross Elby; you don't mean real, personal, physical harm - just political extinction. Which would be only fair.

hatfield girl said...

"Really? Because one quite clearly remembers dissolving Parliament."

Perfect, RJ. Caught the moment and the tone absolutely.