The New Prime Minister of the United Kingdom

Peter Mandelson was never going to cut it as an electoral prospect after twice being asked to leave the cabinet; and, with New Labour losing Glasgow East, there is no parachute. There is only conferment of 'honour' by 'the Crown'. Equally, David Miliband of the wilting banana was never going to be able to oust the Brownian faction from their trough. Blair walked rather too high a tight rope over what is formally allowed even by our permissive laws and rules - not a comeback kid. And Brown was disadvantaged in so many ways it isn't worth making a list.

Even our cowed electorate intended to balk at another change of government without the intervening courtesy of a general election. What to do to maintain permanent, post-democratic power?

Putting Brown back among his tractor production statistics and his keepers was the only solution to maintaining the permanent power of the administrated state. He could not be left doing his 'turn' in front of the entire electorate. So Brown was returned to his comfort zone of dead numbers, elaborated lying data, and allowed to keep the baubles of title as Leader of the Labour Party and Prime Minister of 'Britain', to keep Downing Street (though an open plan at No 12 rather than the real thing), Chequers, his new computer in Kirkcaldy, and gun-toting killers for his spouse. In return he ceded the executive powers of the United Kingdom to Peter. After all, it is his 'turn' now.

Days since his ennoblement (such feudal powers, so recently renewed under New Labour in our British Constitution) the corrupt maw of our new Leader Mandelson has engulfed the powers of the Foreign Secretary, and taken over the direction of the Treasury with a willing automaton workhorse. That leaves, of the once the great offices of state, the Home office, currently under the direction of a comprehensive school domestic science teacher.

Would you rather... be governed by a banana-waver, a bogey-eater and a cookery teacher. Or an Andreotti wannabe with a power complex and a corruption problem?