Promoveatur ut amoveatur

Conversation at dinner this evening alighted on Mr Brown. (There was comment on the UK getting a lower credit rating than Italy). It was agreed that the only way to free us from an incompetent was to promote him to a nominally prestigious position from which, being useless in reality, he couldn't do any more damage. (This is a reliably translated version into English of the Italian definition of the latin phrase, guaranteed by Mr HG, who knows all three languages like the back of).

First up were the IMF or the World Bank presidencies. Unfortunately Brown's been informally considered and rejected for them. A post in Europe? Nope, his power base, such as it is, rests in a non euro-using member state with secessionist tendencies; and there were giggles about Brown's comportment when in Brussels (or anywhere else for that matter).

Africa was mooted but it was agreed that Africa, at least sub-Saharan Africa, which is the part intended (as North Africa has historical and post-imperialist ties that render it wholly differently oriented), could be thought of as animal, vegetable, and mineral. Unfortunately Mr Brown cannot. He hasn't the slightest acquaintance with husbandry, agriculture, or mining, metallurgy and engineering.

A general problem is that Mr Brown is a generalist. No-one could think even of any language, European or African, other than English, that he commanded. If he can't manage French and German, let alone Russian or Italian, how much more likely is it that he is poor in, for instance, Bemba? You can't do anything when you can't understand what anyone else is saying. There was a significant silence while we considered Mr Brown's listening qualities.

What, then, are Mr Brown's abilities and qualifications, the interests closest to the brownian heart? What would he claim should be considered? First, economics and finance - failure is no disqualification for passionate interest. Second, globalisation - democracy is no deterrent to world progressive governance. Third, extension - power base is no limitation to multi-jurisdictional agenda and activity. Fourth, status - he likes his Chequers and his summits, and they aren't really very expensive. No problem.

The World Trade Organisation awaits him like a blushing bride. Certainly Pascal Lamy might take a view, but he is in his second term and should never have been in his first but that the Europeans were doing a spot of promo/amo themselves. Not only does the position fit Mr Brown like a glove, being M. Lamy does too. Well, he could lose a bit of weight.

Tomorrow we will consider what will move Pascal out of Gordon's way. This evening the unanimous view was that Gordon himself is probably the best bet.